It doesn't have to be like that.  Most people aren't expecting something in particular for Christmas (unless you promised them a brand new Pow Pow Power Wheels), so they'll be pleased with a wide variety of gifts.  If you're at a loss for what to get your husband or your wife, just have a look around this site.  Even DIY Gift Ideas that don't cost much would work in most instances. 

However, there are a few things that one should categorically avoid when shopping for Christmas gift ideas for family members.   There are bad Christmas gifts and then there are horrible Christmas gifts.  These ones are downright horrible. 

The Self-Evident. Don’t even think about giving these things.

1. Ties: The Most Boring Gift Idea on the PLANET

Unless it’s a completely awesome tie that changes his life and makes his morning's brighter every time he sees it (which is impossible, by the way), chances are he’ll never wear it.  To a working man, ties look like leashes that their bosses or companies use to control them.  Getting one on Christmas, one of the few days of the year that he doesn't have to think about work, will only remind him of his futile servitude.  

It should be noted that there are a few caveats to this rule.  Firstly, if you're thinking of gift ideas for college students, ties make fine gifts.  This is because they force the college student to accept the fact that there is life after college.  Some day, they won't be able to spend every waking hour in jeans they haven't washed in 7 months.  Some day, they'll have to (cringe!) work!  Secondly, bow ties make acceptable gag gifts – especially if they’re white and can spin.

2. Bathroom Mats or Towels (unless they’re gifts for college students)

Again, unless you're buying these gifts for filthy college students who have no idea how to operate a washing machine, these make bad gift ideas.  It's as if you're saying to someone "You're a complete degenerate trainwreck who can't live without their mother."  As truthful as this statement may be, it's just rude to give someone these things.  

As an aside, if their place really stinks, you could always get them a set of scented candles (and maybe slip a few Glade Plug-in's somewhere near the bottom of the present).  Candles are much less bland and outright offensive than bathroom mats or towels.  Nobody throws tantrums when they get candles.  Well, Mike Tyson might.

3. CD Racks, Spice Racks, Gun Racks, Medieval Racks: Just Say No.

Anything involving the word "rack" is likely among the worst gift ideas you could ever imagine.  Let's start with CD Racks.   I can’t believe they still sell these things.  No one, except rich people who have too much time on their hands and nothing better to do, has bought a CD in 12 years.  This alone renders a CD rack worthless.  If you're considering buying someone one, think again.  

Secondly, spice racks also make terrible gift ideas.  Firstly, they're most often purchased for people who do not cook.  In this case, they simply take up space where the tequila bottles are supposed to be.  Secondly, most people who cook either already have spices and don't need a bunch more stale peppercorns.

Thirdly, one only needs to consult the greatest comedy of the 1990's, Wayne's World, to understand why not to buy a gun rack:

"A gun rack… a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do… with a gun rack?"

Finally, unless your brother is obsessed with the Renaissance Pleasure Faire, do not get him a medieval rack.  Actually scratch that – even if he is obsessed with the Renaissance Faire, don't get him a rack.  He might put you in it until you agree to dress up like a maiden at the jousting contest.

The Less Obvious: Bad Books and Music are Bad Christmas Gift Ideas

Consider your audience carefully when selecting music and books for family members at Christmastime.  Malcolm Gladwell books might appeal to some people, but others get annoyed by his rambling, unfocused rants.  What on earth is the point of his books?  Could someone tell me again please?  Just because a guy has a wild haircut and tells interesting stories doesn’t mean he can tell you anything that’s actually useful.  In terms of music, the worst Christmas gift in the world has to be your own Demo Tape.  Unless you made a song specifically for your family members at Christmas, they really don't want it for Christmas.  Try thinking about what they like and stop thinking about your own tastes.  

But I think we've been conditioned to think that most DIY gift ideas are out of our creative reach and boggling to our terrible hand-eye coordination.  In this post, I intend to present a counter to the point that we're all destined to glue ourselves to the kitchen table if we try to make our own Christmas gifts for our families.  So put on your safety goggles and take a look:

Original T-Shirt: A Cheap DIY Gift Idea 

If you're short on dough this holiday season, remember that it's most important to save as much money for yourself as possible.  Your family and friends are certainly important, but let's get real.  You've gotta eat (foie gras) and drive (your Audi) to work every day.  If they really love you, your friends and family will understand if you don't spend an arm and a leg on them.  With this in mind, one of the most thoughtful gift ideas you can come up with is an original t-shirt.  Homemade t-shirts can be funny, sentimental, or downright outrageous.  While they don't take a very long time to create, they show that you cared enough about a person to make them something completely unique.   

If you don't have a silk-screen setup at home (which is a bit difficult to assemble), just pick up a set of iron-on transfers.   Most of these kits cost less than $19.95 and allow you to make a bunch of shirts.  Next, you've just got to buy a few Hanes or Fruit of the Loom 100% cotton t-shirts and get to work.  

If you're at a loss for what to put on the t-shirt, you could use one of the following ideas:

1. Pictures of Family

2. Embarassing Pictures of the Person You're Giving the Gift to, with the caption "World's Best Popcorn Eater" or some inside joke.

3. Their Favorite Things (Ice Cream, Wolves, Jack Daniels, etc.)

As long as you don't make something that will set on fire or cause a shock, it's also a cool idea to attach some sort of lighting system to the shirt.  For instance, a few years back I saw a wolf t-shirt that had flashing red light bulbs for eyes.  I wish somebody would have given me that shirt. 

Homemade Fishing Lures: A DIY Gift Idea That Makes Lazy People Feel Active!

According to a recent survey, 63% of Americans have, in their homes, a picture of someone grinning while holding a fish flopping on a hook.  It matters little that only .04% of Americans actually fish more than once every 5 years.  Men simply love the idea that they are adventurous outdoorsmen at heart.  

While it may seem like a dangerous endeavor, as long as you don't try to make homemade fishing lures when you're drunk or hung over (unfortunately, this eliminates you, college students), you'll probably escape with both of your eyes intact.   

The bigger danger here is getting roped into actually going fishing.  As we all know, fishing is one of the most boring "sports" on the planet, next to curling, cross-country skiing and blogging.  

Sock Puppets: An EASY DIY Gift Idea 

This a perfect DIY Gift Idea for any hipster because it's so sentimental and childish.  It's also perfect if you're a hipster with a ton of colorful socks to spare.  Simply buy a few plastic eyeballs at an art store, glue them to a bunch of socks, and sew on some red mouths.  If you want to go nuts, make one of them a cyclops and call it Richard.  

Pies and Other Baked Goods: Timeless Homemade Gifts, Always Appreciated

Although they take a few hours to make, pies are relatively easy to make.  If you're at a loss of how to start, though, call your mother.  She'll do one of two things: 

1. Insist on making the pie for you (win!)

2. Be touched that you asked her for help and then insist on making the pie for you (win win!!)

Just make sure the gift recipient isn't allergic to boysenberries before you get your mom to whip up one of her New Hampshire State Fair winning pie.  Otherwise, you'll just look like a jerk who made a pie for himself.

Knitted Scarves, Hats or Socks: DIY Gift Ideas for the Whole Family

Unless you've got a lot of time on your hands, it's better not to try your hand at knitting.  However, if you can manage to put your hands together and get handy with a ball of yarn and some sticks, this is a very cool gift idea.  Just make sure it doesn't look like a hand-me-down, handywoman.

More DIY Gift Ideas for your Melon!

In case you missed our first installment of great DIY gift ideas, you should be ashamed of yourself.  They're much better than these ones.  

TV Dinners: A Consolation Prize for a Failed Top Chef

Some people just need to realize that their attempts at culinary greatness are woefully misguided.  If everyone hates the vegetarian goulash that your artsy roommate attempts to create, then drop her this not-so-subtle hint.  Be very careful about giving TV dinners to your mother, as mothers take pride in their ability to cook, even if they’re terrible. TV Dinners are also the perfect gift idea for anyone who has to cook after they come home from work.  Have you ever seen those people?  Bumping their heads on the cabinet doors, spilling oil on themselves while they try to cook, cursing at the cat, the pot, the weed, and the cat again?  Give those people some peace for Pete’s sake!

Band-Aids: An Ironic Gift Idea for your Brother Who Just Broke His Leg Snowboarding

In the same vein, band-aids are the wise-guy’s go-to gift for that relative who can’t help breaking a different bone every month.  This is perhaps the best gift idea ever for extreme sports athletes, because it’s also ironic – they need more than a few band aids to repair their battered limbs.  Finally, this gift works great for enemies or sports rivals.  I imagine that I would definitely send my sports rivals band aids and Prozac if they broke their legs – if I had any sports rivals (which would requiring playing any sports at all, which does not currently apply).  ADDED BONUS: If they complain about the gift being in poor taste, just ask them if a band-aid will make their boo-boo attitude feel better.

Blow-up Dolls: A Funny Gift Idea for a Man on the Rebound

Your aunt Doris the librarian might not find the blow-up doll funny.  In fact, she may never speak to you again.  By the same token, your buddy Mitch won’t find it funny either, but for different reasons (he’ll find it attractive).  However, your buddy Gabe will take it out with him to the bar and buy it drinks like a true gentlemen ought to.  This is also a perfect gift idea for a guy who’s hit a dry spell in his romantic life (as long as you remind him that this is just a rebound and that you will forcibly remove it from him after two weeks).

Model Car: A Reminder of What Might Have Been If You Hadn’t Become a Teacher

Again, you’ve gotta consider your audience.  If you’re giving a model car to your 16-year-old daughter after you promised her you would buy her a car, this gift is in extremely poor taste.  In fact, it will likely be more expensive to your in the long run, given all of the therapy sessions that she’ll have for years afterwards.  However, if your husband has been yapping to you about buying a convertible since you married him 17 years ago, it’s a very suitable gift.

A Can of Febreeze or A Christmas Gift Basket of Cleaning Supplies

You could get them a bunch of hoity-toity candles, but getting them a can of Febreeze sends a far more direct message: YOUR HOUSE SMELLS LIKE MOLDY SOCKS!  CLEAN IT, FOOL!  In fact, you could even write that on a hoity-toity card.  Also, if you’re in a particularly generous mood, you could even include a can of Raid and some toilet cleaning solution.  Then, you could wrap them all together in a festive gift basket.

A Life Jacket to Make them Stop Drowning in the Their Sorrows

We all know that guy who loses his girlfriend and absolutely falls off the face of the Earth.  Hew tops eating, stops hanging out, and stops finding stupid jokes funny.  When this happens, you’ve got to jolt him out of his pusillanimous, pathetic behavior.  Aside from dragging him out of the house for drinks, you could get him a symbolic gift like a life jacket.  If this doesn’t do the trick, get him a box of tampons, a King-Size Hershey’s bar, and a copy of Sleepless in Seattle.  He’ll thank you for it later (because he’ll have something to give the blow-up doll you give him).

Gift Ideas for Co-Workers #1: Plants

When it comes to office gifts, plants are right at the top of the list.  They're cheap (you can find many for under $5), they remind people that life exists outside the office (depending on what type of boss you are, this could be a bad thing), and they're as unpolitical as can be.  Plants are also especially good gifts for colleagues whose cubicles are more barren than the state of Nevada.  You might upset their delicate balance by throwing a plant into that wilderness of boringness, but it also might stand as a symbol of your appreciation.  Finally, you get to see who lets their plant die and who spends more time caring for it than they do working.

Christmas Gift Ideas for Colleague #2: Cool Notepads

If you've got any aspiring writers in your midst, you might want to consider getting them a cool notebook or set of small notebooks.  They'll probably fill them up with stories of your incompetence and wretchedness, but chances are they're not good enough to parlay a movie or book deal.

Cheap Christmas Gift Ideas at the Office #3:  Charming Keychains

Here's an office gift idea that's cheap, unique, and easy.  More importantly, it will constantly remind your co-workers of your excellence.  Find a dozen different little keychains (the bottle-shaped bottle opener, the mini flashlight, the state of Texas, a rabbit's foot, etc.) and then have your colleagues choose them from a grab-bag at a staff meeting.  Every time they lock their door, they'll think about the little gift you gave them (and maybe feel a little guilty for leaving work at 3 pm to go to happy hour).

Office Gift Ideas #4: Chocolate Oranges or European Chocolate

On principle alone, most people would never spend $4 on a luxury European candy bar or $6 on a chocolate orange.   When you could buy 7 Hershey's bars or bags of peanut M&M's for what you pay for one of those hoity-toity sweets, the exotic appeal of the European label vanishes completely.  However, most people would relish the chance to taste one of these luxuries.  Put a red bow around it and it will look like a million bucks.

Gift Ideas for your Co-Workers #5: Simple Art Supplies

By definition, offices repress people.  Deep inside, most of the droopy-eyed schmoes sitting around you putting together marketing plans and spreadsheets probably have some artistic talent (or at least some desire to break the routine and express their pent-up rage somehow).  A simple pack of watercolors or colored pencils might be just the thing.

Great Gift Ideas for Co-Workers #6: Cute Paperweights

Because using a pair of scissors just won't cut it, you might try to find a bunch of cool paperweights and let staff draw straws to decide who gets first pick.

Christmas Gift Ideas for Colleagues #7: Flasks

Maybe it's not the best idea on the planet, but booze keeps people going when their mind tells them that it's time to stop.  If you work late nights, having a little booze might pull you through the difficult stretches.  NOTE: It might not be a bad idea to put vodka in the flask and include some Redbulls.

Cheap Christmas Gift Ideas for Co-Workers #8: A New Alarm Clock

It's a pretty funny gift idea, but if you decide to get someone a new alarm clock, you've got to be on good terms with them.  It's not as rude as getting someone special resume paper, but it's close.

Unique Christmas Gift Ideas for Colleagues #9: Whoopie Cushions and Fake Mustaches

No matter the occasion or the reason, whoopie cushions and fake mustaches are always incredible gift ideas.  It's important to add a little humor around the office every once in awhile – just make sure that you're not the one who uses these things.  They're supposed to be for your colleagues to poke fun at you.

Men are simple animals, with desires not so different from that of an average Labrador.  Yes, we shower regularly and brush our teeth, but we probably wouldn’t do those things if it weren’t for women.  Yes, we can play video games and football, but I’d wager most dogs could do those things if you trained them well enough.  And sure, we can tie our shoes and dogs can’t, but that’s only because we have thumbs and mothers who teach us to do such things.  In the simplest terms, men like good food, glorious escapades, defending our territory, and courting females – exactly the same pleasures as that of any canine on your block.  Women who recognize these simple facts will have a much easier time coming up with creative Christmas gift ideas for their husbands, brothers, sons or grandpas.

Great Christmas Gift Ideas: Things You Can Eat, Drink or Smoke

Whiskey. First of all, it’s always useful to have a bottle of Scotch on hand for when your in-laws visit.  Secondly, very few men will ever be unhappy to receive a bottle on fine whiskey, even they’re not big drinkers (By the way, if he is a big drinker, then this is a terrible gift idea).  Besides being delicious and intoxicating, whiskey bottles are like trophies for me.  If you don’t believe me, just check out any college dorm room within a 50 mile radius of your current location – I guarantee you there’s at least one empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s resting on a top shelf, gathering admiration like the Stanley Cup.  Yes, it’s juvenile, but as men grow older they dream of having their own bar – not necessarily because they love alcohol but because those bottles are like gold medals.

Cigars. I’m not convinced that men actually like cigars, but they certainly make you feel like an important person.

Turducken. About a decade ago, legendary American football announcer John Madden began to popularize the turducken while commentating on football games.  Who knows who told Madden about this incredible invention?  Perhaps he imagined it one day while he was daydreaming on the sidelines.  Maybe he happened upon it in his bus (Madden never traveled by plane due to a lifelong fear of flying).  Whoever unleashed it on the world deserves tremendous credit.  Stuffing inside a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey?  Genius.  It’s on the same level as the Theory of Relativity, if you ask me.  If you get one, you will be showered with truly endless praise for coming up with such a creative Christmas gift idea.  If you can handle that, then boldly go for it!

Wine – Red wine, that is.  While it’s not the best gift idea of all time, it appeals to his need for hoarding valuable objects (much like a canine hoards your child’s dolls in holes in the backyard).  Every man needs his own personal private wine cellar, even if it’s only 3 bottles on a shelf above the washing machine.

Great Christmas Gift Ideas: Glorious Escapades

Car accessories – What do getaway cars, chase cars, race cars, and bumper cars all have in common?  Well besides being cars, they all contribute to the myth of the car as the ultimate escapade machine.  This is why we men love our cars.  Honestly, they’re the coolest toys since Transformers. Naturally, anything that makes them even cooler is totally awesome.  From superfluous sun shields to audacious air horns and cute hula girls, you really can’t go wrong.  EBay usually has a ton of good deals on car accessories, so mosey over and transform your depressingly beat-up ‘87 Corolla into a hilariously beat-up ’87 Corolla (Nothing against the ’87 Corolla, by the way – it’s one of the more reliable cars on the planet AND chicks dig the upholstery).  TIP: You could always accompany this gift with a DVD of Pimp My Ride.  Just make sure he doesn’t hate the show.

Swiss Army or Leatherman Knives – Anything that makes a man feel more equipped makes a great gift idea.  In either one of these two gift ideas, you’ve got a DOZEN pieces of equipment.  While the knife will probably spend most of the time in the drawer next to his bed, it will still make him FEEL like he’s incredibly resourceful.  He’ll FEEL like he’s ready to scout enemy troop movements while he’s actually watching Monday Night Football.  It’s win-win.  TIP: If you can find and afford the entire DVD box set of Macgyver, definitely include it with this gift.  Alternatively, you could take him to see the new Macgruber movie, which will supposedly hit theaters in early 2010. To be continued…