The Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Women
“There is no secret ingredient!”
-Po, Kung Fu Panda.
If there’s one rule of thumb to finding the best Christmas gifts for women, it’s that there is no rule of thumb. You might think you’ve come up with the best gift ideas on the planet, but she might hate every one of them (and hold a grudge against you for 14 years over it your “amazing insensitivity”). As the cliché goes, ‘you’ve got to be sensitive to her needs.’ In the case, though, it’s more important to be aware of her pet peeves. When these two factors collide and you foolishly choose needs over pet peeves (she NEEDS a new jacket, but she HATES it when you try to buy her clothes), you’re liable to lose an arm. To come up with the best Christmas gift ideas for women, you’ve got to know what feelings they associate with certain objects. For instance, you might think that a silver bracelet will make a great present, but she might hate it because her Aunt Mable used to wear silver bracelets and she hates her Aunt Mable because she’s mean and how could you do such an insensitive thing like that? See? In general, buying gifts for a woman can be a difficult task if you’re not a psychic, but you should try to make your best guess. Here are ours:
The Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Women #1: A Trip to the Spa
Not only does this give you an excuse to not give her foot massages, but it will likely make her appreciate you for your thoughtfulness. Unless, that is, she takes it as a sign that you think she can’t handle the stress of her life (see? There are traps everywhere!). Most spas aren’t cheap, but you could consider giving this as a group gift, whereby everyone chips in a little bit to pay for it. Also, you’ll have to deal with the fact that she’s going to be gushing about Fabio, the Argentine masseuse, for the next 6 years.
The Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Women #2: Jewelry
It’s widely known that very few women can resist the allure of jewelry. Something in gleam of a diamond or the shine of a ruby turns them into needy children (WANT THE SHINY! WANT THE SHINY!). To be fair, this is also true of many men, including professional athletes. Do you remember when Javon Walker got robbed of $100,000 worth of jewelry in Las Vegas? And have you seen JaMarcus Russell’s bling? OK that’s another story (file it under Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Professional Athletes). Quick note: If your budget is tight, you could always try to find a cool necklace from a street vendor at your local farmer’s market.
The Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Women #3: Fluffy Things and Pillows
Nothing says relaxation and inner peace like throw pillows and soft blankets. She might think it’s also a gift for you (which it is, but you do not tell her this!), but she’ll probably love it. A few years ago, the Snuggie, a blanket/jacket/cocoon became one of the the best Christmas gift ideas for women in recent memory.
The Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Women #4: Candles and Scents
Candles and scents are universally accepted as things that women love but men simply do not understand. Unless they give her allergies, they can make great Christmas gift ideas. To be safe, get a wide assortment of scents, shapes and sizes of candles. Also, if you can find any artsy soap bars shaped like animals or shells, don’t pass them up.
The Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Women #5: Puppies or Pictures of Puppies or Videos of Puppies or Anything else with Puppies
Enough said.
The Best Christmas Gift Ideas for Women #6: Shaving your Mustache
If there’s one type of facial hair that women disdain more than any other, it’s the mustache. Hailed by men as a sign of vigilantism and individuality, mustaches are immediate turn-offs for women. It is as if mustaches secretly seem to say “I cannot provide for you or care for your young. By the way, do you have any Jack Daniels lyin around?” Temporarily removing your stash during the holidays might be emotionally stressful (You will find yourself asking, ‘am I really the carefree vigilante that I believe I am?’), but it will likely pay dividends in other ways. While this one is more likely to backfire on you than any of the others, it could also be the best present she’ll ever receive.